I feel different. I am different. So different from you, from them. Whoever “them” is. I am a pattern and color unlike any I know. And sometimes it alienates me. Takes me farther from the rest. Sometimes it makes me feel like the outsider. I see differently than the lot. I see in metaphors and creations. I laugh. And I laugh louder than all the others. I flip and flop. I get awkward. I get weird. I get serious and melancholy and bounce back to joy in an instant. I ask questions. I poke. I prod. I smile and let it be. I am different. Sometimes I think I am a mess. Sometimes I think I am a misfit.
But aren’t we all? Isn’t that what we all were?
We were misfits. Misunderstood by all around. Misunderstood by ourselves. But He saw us. El Roi. The God Who Sees. He sees us even when we are unable to see ourselves. He looks into us and sees not just who we are, but who we will be. I see a misfit, but He sees more. He will always see more.
And so there we are, running wild, seeking our identities. Unaware of who we are. Unaware that we already are. Unaware that He could use us. Unaware that He will.
We are here. Unable to fit into any semblance of organization. Colors and patterns, each so different from the next. That one floral, this one stripes. And then He pricks us, and then He punctures. Pushing the needle through us, one stitch at a time. And we hurt, and we wonder and we cannot see. Until another square of cloth comes from out of the blue. And then, as if it always was they are apart of us. They are family and friend. They are helper and edifier. And we are together. Stitched together, through the blood of Christ. Stitched together through the will of God.
We come together, each cut from different cloth. Colors and patterns that you and I are unable to make beautiful. Colors and patterns that you and I would never put together. Yet, with His hand there is harmony. He brings us together with red thread. Each stitch. Each puncture. Uniting us into something, giving a common brand, giving us identity. Stitch by stitch. Square by square, we come together. Until we are all one. One large quilt brought together by nothing else but His blood threaded through us. We are his tapestry, His quilt, His blanket. Made to spread out, made to envelope. Made to bring others into rest. Because you see, we are so much. When we are brought together, we are no longer misfit squares. We are so much more. We are warmth on a cold day. We are comfort on the hard days. We are spread wide and open, falling to green grasses or broken soil. We are sought out on cloudy days when there are more questions than answers. We are crawled into on the darkest nights. We protect and pad when life is too rough. We are kept around, because they never know when a soft blanket will be needed. We are here. We are His tapestry. To be needed. To be used. We give and give and give to this world of ours. Because together, we can do so much. We are called to so much.
And so, maybe sometimes I only see a square. Maybe sometimes I cannot see the big picture. Often times I cannot see the big picture. I can’t even see to the left or right of me. I only see my square. I see how different I am from you. I see how your square is better, prettier, more useful than mine. But He is El Roi. The God Who Sees. He sees us even when we are unable to see ourselves. He looks into us and sees not just who we are, but who we will be. I see a misfit, but He sees more.
He will always see more.