We live these lives. Giving our hearts to things and people. And all it does is take and take and take until before we know it we’ve never guarded our hearts. We give it all away to these things, these people. They take these pieces of our heart and crush them with their fingers. And we are left with a pile of broken mess. A broken heart that we thought was going to become whole by scattering it around. As if anything can become whole by becoming scattered.
We have many options in this world. We can give our hearts to people, we can give our hearts to things, we can even keep our hearts for ourselves or we can give our hearts to God. Each choice ends in a broken heart, even giving our heart to God. But when we give our hearts to God, yes He breaks them because a broken and contrite heart he does not despise. But we don’t stay broken with Him. We never stay broken with Him because He is The Great Physician, He is The Great Healer. And when we give Him our hearts, He heals them.
But it is no ordinary healing. It is no scar, grown over old flesh, grown tougher, harder. He heals to restore, not to replace. He heals with new flesh, a new heart better than we have ever had. A heart that feels passion and desire and love in ways we could never have imagined. A broken and contrite heart He does not despise. A broken and contrite heart He desires. A broken heart that lets Him take our crumpled, piled mess and heal it in ways we never imagined possible. Ways that let us feel life with each beat of our heart. He pieces together our mess, spits upon the dirt, puts mud over our hearts and we can feel and see like we’ve never felt and seen before. We no longer see men walking like trees before us, wailing their branch arms around us, waving high above us like monsters. Men are no longer greater and taller and bigger than us. We no longer have to fear their rejection, their approval, their opinion. They are no longer all around us and before us as we wander through their forest. Because we no longer see men walking like trees, we see them for what they are: men. And we see Him for what He is: The one who loves us most, The Great Physician, The Great Healer, The One who took wounds that would never heal so that our wounds would.
We can never love Him like He loves us. We are bad lovers. But He does not care. He takes what we can give Him. He accepts it. Because He loves us. He loves us and so we can love Him.
We loved Him because He first loved us.
He taught us what love is by teaching us who He is. And as my friend Robert taught me, all He asks in return is for us to give Him what we can. He wants what we can give him. He wants all that we can give him. But the only thing that we can give Him is our mess. Our sin. Because you can’t really give someone something that they already gave to you. He gave us breath, He gave us life, He gave us heart. We cannot give these things to Him. We can offer them up as tools to be used, but we cannot give them to Him because He has them, they are already His. The only thing we can truly give Him from ourselves is our sin. Its the only thing He never gave us.
I hate this image. I hate this idea that the only thing I can give Him is muck.He deserves more. I want to give Him more. I want to give Him something that is worthy of Him. As if I ever could. I want to give Him something He will love. But He does love it. And He takes it. He takes it willingly. Because it is all we can give Him and He wants our gifts. He wants to take our gifts, our evil and turn it to good. He uses it so that we can give Him more glory.
What a thought, we can be apart of giving Him glory. The One who is glory, The One who deserves all glory, The One who created glory. He allows us to be apart of His glory. Oh the love of Jesus. Oh the love of Jesus that rescued me. Love rescued me. When nothing else could. Love healed my wounds.
He took on wounds that would never heal…
In his feet.
In his hands.
In his side.
He took on wounds that would never heal, so we could have wounds that would.
Psalm 51:17| I John 4:19