life making, The Plans He Has for You

Epic

I want an epic story. My whole life, I’ve always wanted an epic story. Don Miller says the difference between an epic story and a great story is the people you impact. If you impact yourself and change your life for the better, well that is a great story. But if you change your life to impact the world around you, well that is an epic story. And that is what I want.

The waters of time are moving. But I am not. Questions linger. But time does not. I feel so stagnant, left behind, so lost in the dark. And then I think, this doesn’t happen in an epic story. Shouldn’t I be more than this? More than  a girl who’s stuck? Stuck in the mess of uncontrollable circumstance? I want to be working. I want to be finishing school. I want to be moving. Reaching towards people. Impacting them. Just like those stories, those epic ones we love, the ones we root for with the Academy, those stories that move.

They move so fast, those stories. So fast they leave you on the edge of your seat. And so I wonder. How do I get one of those? How do I take this life, chapters deep in conflict and plot and give it the makings of a story? And an epic one at that. How do I trust that He does know the plans He has for me?  Or rather, how do I trust that I’m headed towards those plans? How do I believe that He who began a good work in me will complete it? And is my version of completion the same as His version of completion? Did I mess it up? Did my free will take me outside of those plans, and thus far from my original plot?

The ideas burn into the sides of my mind, labeling it with brands that seem to never heal. But how do they become more than ideas? How do they become stories? How does the hero take the idea and turn it into action?

I’ve been thinking about this for the past few weeks. Chewing on thoughts like they were cud. And part of me thinks I’ve been doing it wrong. Been doing the thinking wrong. All this time, I’ve seen the epic story in the resolution, in the grand finale. The pain resolves, the relationship heals, the money turns to windfall, and happiness stays. But people don’t pay money to see grand finales. They pay money to see stories. And the ones that draw the crowds, those epic stories, aren’t epic for the resolution, they are epic for the hard. Because our story is in the hard. We think our story is where we are getting to, the happily ever after. But happily ever afters don’t come easy. Instead, they come abundant .

 

I have come that they may have life. And have it abundantly. 

He came to bring us abundant life. Epic life. Heart pounding, pressure cooking stories. Stories that weave adventure and pauses. Stories that create characters. Stories that create character.

 My character.

My character walks around in this story, and she can’t see past the pages she’s been written on. But others see her. Others see who she is and how she is changing. They see the plot thicken, they see her react. My character. She is changing. She is moving forward page by page. To her it is an eternity of words. But to others it is a story. A story they read and move with. A story they are impacted by. A story that is turning towards the abundant, the epic. I am this character. Walking through the dark, with hands reaching out to stop the bumps in the night, failing terribly. But those bumps, those scratches, those wounds… They make adventure. They make the story. They make the character. This story I tell, it impacts because of the hard. For beauty never was quite as beautiful without the ugly beside it.

And so I walk, page by page, hurt by hurt, letting those readers see my story. And as much as I want to sleep it off, to wake up to the happy ending, I know it doesn’t work that way. Characters build because of plot, not despite it. And this character must build. She will build. Reaching out as she does. Reaching for the bumps but finding people instead.

It is an epic story after all.

Jeremiah 29:11| Philippians 1:6| John 10:10

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