He calls to me. This mess of a girl, full of sin and grit and pain. The girl who messes up more than she gets it right. The girl who can’t seem to stop with the sick. The girl who cries often these days, even when she’s happy. He calls to her. To that girl. To me.
His call. Full of tenderness and eagerness for me, for my presence. For the life of me I can’t understand it. I can’t understand how one so good and holy could seek me out. But He does. He beckons me with relentless effort. Calling me towards Him, reminding me that He is my One True Love. That my heart was meant for Him above all others.
He called to me during the fireworks show. Reminding me that a grand finale isn’t quite so grand without the rest of the show to compare it to. That we can’t know the happily ever after until we go through the rest of the journey. Until we have something ugly to compare the beauty to.
He called me in my dreams. Reminding me that there is purpose. That I have purpose. In a dream that made no sense, He reminded me that there was sense. There is understanding, even when it isn’t in my possession.
He called me in the quiet moments and He called me in the loud. Sweet, tender moments full of love and happiness echoed the same sentiments as those full of vibrancy and joy spilled over.
He called me in the unbelievable. Those moments that left me speechless and shocked. When opportunities arose that never should have. When odds were against me and still it happened. When I was chosen out of the crowd, when I won the prize, when I couldn’t believe it was my name they pulled out of the bag.
He called me in all of it, and through all of it He showed just how near He was. Each opportunity more than just happenstance. He sees me. He knows me. He watches and keeps me. I am my beloveds and my beloveds is mine. Even when it all gets hazy and confusing. When it seems much less grand and yet very much final. When the dream seems distant and doesn’t make much sense. When the moments are too quiet. When the moments are too loud. In all of it, He calls me. He calls to me to tell me that He is near. That in all of it, the story is not over, the lover is not gone, and He has not left. He sees me. He holds me. He calls me.