The Vulnerable Side

This Thing Called Vulnerability

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

Joshua 1:9, NIV

 

Somehow I’ve gotten myself a blog that is pretty much centered around my being vulnerable. Problem is, one of my biggest fears is vulnerability. The idea of opening myself up to strangers and friends alike, and laying there raw and open, just waiting for whatever may come… well, it’s terrifying to me. But God has been challenging me more and more to expose myself to vulnerability. Because truth be told, there is power in vulnerability. There is power in having a confidence so firmly rooted that I can be open, and allow myself and the goings on of my life to be exposed, so that they can be a help to others, however that may be. Brené Brown says that to have vulnerability you must have courage. She then goes on to say how the original definition of courage, the one that comes from its Latin root word for heart, “Cor” (pronounced kerr), is this.

“ : To tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. ”

 

When I heard that, it gripped my heart so firmly and I knew that God intended this to be more than a definition for me. It was a calling. This is what I am supposed to do with my life. I am called to tell the story of who I am with my whole heart. I am called to have courage. To be strong and courageous.

I would say it is quite the coincidence, but nothing is coincidental when walking the paths of God. You see, this verse, this easy verse that I learned long ago in Sunday school as a girl, this verse that I am embarrassed to say has come to be nothing more than empty comfort, this verse was the theme verse of a kids camp I worked at in Poland this past summer. I was surrounded by it for 3 weeks, and yet even then was so unaware of its power.

They say the best way to cook a frog is by gradually increasing the heat of a pot of water. Thus, the frog becomes unaware of the heat as it is being cooked. I don’t know if that is really true, but it is a great metaphor. And we as Christians are much like these frogs. For we are constantly surrounded by the intense heat and power of the word, yet somehow we become so comfortable with it. We grow oblivious to its ability to bring forth death or life. Until today, I have been oblivious, I have been that frog, swimming in water, unaware of how it could affect me, how it could change me. But I don’t want to swim in it unaware. I want to feel the heat. I want to be fully aware of the power I have been immerged in.

And so while I am terrified of what is to come, what is ahead for me as I lay myself open and exposed, I am reminded that there is no need for fear. For the Lord my God is with me wherever I go. He is even there in unchartered pages of blogs and writings. And I pray that I will walk into these pages, into this calling, with scripture as my weapon. May I not forget its power, but instead walk with confidence, knowing that I am protected. Lying there, open and raw, for all the world to see, with all my vulnerability an essay to be read by others, I am protected. For the Lord my God is with me wherever I go. 

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