“I’m fine. It’s really not that bad.”
I didn’t even realize how sick I was. Do we ever? Do we ever stop and give credit to the things that disease us? Those things I call out in others but make excuses for in me? I could see the pain and struggle for others- my heart broke for them. But somehow I couldn’t exude that same grace to myself. Or maybe I just wasn’t ready to look into the mirror and admit what was really there. I led myself on. Maybe I knew I wasn’t in perfect health- but who really is?
And it is a carbon copy with our spiritual selves, if not more. C.S. Lewis says, “You don’t have a soul, you are a soul. You have a body.” How much of our soul do we ignore if it is that much easier to ignore this body we look at day to day?
Somehow in this christian philosophy we have passed down to our children we have created this sin hierarchy. We teach our children that losing our temper and hitting our sister is bad, but when daddy is driving and traffic is bad, its OK to yell-we are just venting after all.
Or how about murder? Murder is bad but that worry I hold on to, well that’s just a consequence of living in a high stress world, I can’t help that. And sleeping around, well shame on her! But somehow talking about her to all the other girls, well that’s just what she gets. Or maybe we even lie to ourselves and say we are merely thinking of ways to help her. As if telling the community of her shame rather than talking to her is actually helpful.
I’ll tell you this. I’d much rather be friends with the person who struggles with sin, no matter how bad it may be, and recognizes his sin as sin and is seeking to change it, rather than the person who can’t even call it for what it is.
We just go on with our lives, repeating our mantra.
“I’m fine. Its not really that bad.”